alifeofhitsmissesandfails, Author at Welcome

February Final Week

Got to watch out for the local wildlife.

Confession time: I spent the last 4 days in the land of fast-food courts, restaurants and grocery shops. After the last few months confined in my small town with one Woolworths and limited, although tasty, restaurants, I went a little overboard after a road trip down to Adelaide.

Family time

I stayed with my little sister and her family in their gorgeous, massive, all-white house. Her house is the perfect cross between a prestige show home and family home. This always intimidates me because I’m constantly spilling things and I leave things, like books, laying around. I wonder sometimes how we are related. She has all the maternal instincts; she cares so deeply about everyone around her, and she has the energy to keep a white house spotless after working a fulltime job with two young kids. Wonder woman has nothing on her. One day, when I grow up, I want to be like her. She seems to have it all figured out.

Our mother and younger brothers came down for a couple days as well, so it was a loud and rambunctious affair. My family is a sarcastic lot, we love a bit of cheeky banter and some of us can talk until the cows come home. No conversations are off topic, and we leap from philosophical questions to dick jokes and back again with ease.

We decided to have a roast lamb with roasted veggies and cauliflower bake for tea Friday, because it was our first night together and a celebration was in order. Cooking for ten people requires a bit of juggling but we made it work. Disaster nearly struck when I realised that rosemary was nowhere to be seen in the pantry or fridge and salt was at critical levels. Nevertheless, we prevailed! Mostly due to my husband running out to the corner shop and grabbing some precious rosemary so I didn’t have a meltdown over my lamb and potatoes.

Girls day out

The ladies made an escape from the children the next morning and made for a river, where under a shady tree, we communed with nature. Well, it communed with us. Mosquitoes, midges and march flies swarmed within a few minutes and decided we were a tasty banquet. Beating a hasty retreat and cursing nature we went in the opposite direction and went to a mall. Retail therapy is a thing. There were a few things left of my pre-approved list of purchases I needed to get.

We treated ourselves to the magnificent delights of San Churros. Their Spanish hot chocolate is honestly heaven in a cup. Not going to lie, I have thought about just deep diving into a vat of that beverage. I wonder if it would be good for your skin? After that, I cried over the variety of fresh produce available in a market store and I managed to get some fresh okra for these week’s starter dish. I also found a cheese store and splashed out on different varieties to make up a cheese board for the adults to enjoy in the afternoon.

That night I gave a lesson to my youngest brother 12, on how to make lasagne. It was quite fun, though nerve racking watching him using the knife. He did very well, and we made just enough for everyone to enjoy with garlic bread and a garden salad.

Sunday morning, there was time for brunch with a friend I haven’t seen forever, before leaving Adelaide and heading home. There is something therapeutic about having a long meal with good company, and long drives with good music. After unloading the car and having tea, we decided on the menu for this week. It looked like this:

Week 4 Menu Planning

I decided to try out a recipe for vegetarian gumbo, a New Orleans dish that normally includes of a glorious roux (flour and oil/butter/bacon fat, whisked over a low heat until it goes from pale white to a rich cinnamon colour), the holy trinity of creole cooking (celery, capsicum and onion), seafood and andouille sausage. Swapping out the seafood and sausage for beans and using olive oil in the roux made this perfect for me. To go with the gumbo, I made some cornbread. I made two, turns out I confused the salt for sugar and basically made an inedible mess in round one. Round two turned out much nicer, you could even eat it! Luckily, I choose to make this on a day I didn’t have work, as it takes a couple of hours to make.

Next up was a mushroom carbonara, which I tried making the traditional way without any cream or milk, just eggs and cheese. It didn’t turn out that great, but I tried. Perhaps I didn’t take the egg/cheese emulsion slow enough, so the constancy was not quite right, more scrambled egg than creamy, smooth sauce. I shall endeavour to try making it again, as I don’t like to be defeated by mere food stuffs. It is a blow to my admittedly fragile ego.

Thursday night was the start of night shift for me, so I gave up the reins to the others of the household. My crib consisted of gumbo and carbonara leftovers. My sister ended up making the pumpkin risotto without sage as the shops were sold out, and my mischievous fluffers had taken offense to the plant I had tried growing previously.

Friday afternoon I baked up veggie meatballs and faux chicken strips to add to salads. My quick and easy recipe is just bagged lettuce leaves, coleslaw mix, tomatoes, cucumber, feta cheese and either the meatballs or strips. Add different dressings every day and you never get bored of it. A toasted cheese and tomato roll is breakfast while I work, and I’m done for the day.

Saturday was more of the same. Night shift is quieter than days, so the challenge is stopping the urge to munch on everything in sight, and then having to hit the vending machine for a sugar hit.

Sunday through to Tuesday was again spent sleeping for night shift and I ran away to Adelaide again for my block off. It was time to pick up my new reading glasses. Yes, I am now dependent on glasses to help me do what I love most, reading. And embroidery. But I look cute in them, so everything works out. I got back home in time for the start of a new month and a new topic. My March blog is actually up before this one as I had forgot to press the publish button and left this one on preview for a week and a half. All I can do is apologise and promise to do better in the future.

I am continuing with my meal planning and will be adding new habits as I go. My fridge and grocery bill has never looked better.

Until next time,

Kay

Going out of my mind by going inward.

March Week One:

Meditation and mindfulness.

Meditation in a desert is hard to do. So many flies!

To kick off this month I have chosen to tackle my relationship with myself. As an introvert, I need time alone to recharge my batteries, otherwise I get overwhelmed and cranky. Normally I try to avoid spending a lot of time alone with my thoughts, as it tends to become a slippery dip into depression, so I escape myself, and reality, by reading books.

To me, books are magic. They transport you into the lives of other people, you get to experience things you could never dream of, you hear the voices of people long gone and of cultures completely different than your own. You can ride a dragon, overthrow a government, discover new worlds, become an athlete, or fall in love for the first time.

I’m the type of person who carries a book with them everywhere. It comes in handy when you’re waiting at the doctors or for your chronically late friends to show up for coffee dates. when I was younger, I was (hopefully affectionately) given the nickname Slug, because I was always curled up with a book and left a trail of finished books behind me wherever I went. I currently have three book quote tattoos. Yeah, I’m that person. I’m not a monogamous reader either. I have anywhere between 3-5 books on the go at once, between fiction and non-fiction, because I can never gauge what I will want to read at the time.

The Challenge.

So, when I say that for the next month, I will be avoiding reading books to focus on myself and becoming more mindful of my everyday reality, understand this is huge. I am allowing myself the ability to do research about this month’s subject and to read one book for my monthly book club. In conjunction with this, I will be limiting the amount of tv I watch as well. I have no idea how I will fill my spare time, but we shall find out together, faithful readers.

The reason I chose both meditation and mindfulness for one month is because to me they go hand in hand.

The Cambridge Dictionary meaning of the word Meditation is this:

The act of giving your attention to only one thing, either as a religious activity or as a way of becoming calm and relaxed. Serious thought or study, or the product of this activity.

The Cambridge Dictionary meaning of the word Mindfulness is this:

The practice of being aware of your body, mind, and feelings in the present moment, thought to create a feeling of calm.

If you are anything like me, you will understand why this is a challenge. We are rarely ever present in the moment. There is always the past or the future in our thoughts. How often have we caught up with friends or family, and spent the half the time on our phones, endlessly scrolling through social media feeds, or the other side, having conversations to the tops of heads and not even given the decency of pretending like they are listening. We watch tv shows or do chores while on phone calls. When was the last time you were having so much fun you forgot to check your phone to see if you had missed a notification or message? Is it just a case of FOMO or are we now incapable of forgetting the future and the pressure it brings?

The last few years have not been kind for us. Between a global pandemic, natural disasters, threats of war and now actual wars breaking out, it has been a rollercoaster of emotional hits. The constant worry and stress have gotten to all of us and made us all jaded about the future. Therefore, it is important to reflect on the moment and learn to live in present as much as possible.

Hustle culture, the overwhelming pressure to be always pushing toward goals or filling every day to the brim with endless tasks in order to be your most productive, is a curse. When was the last time you decide to take a day off and do no chores, no jobs, and just do what makes you happy? Were you able to do that without feeling guilty? No? Not just me? What’s the point of being productive to the detriment of your happiness?

I always have that little voice in the back of my mind saying, you’re being lazy, you should be doing this, that, blah, blah, blah. It’s an annoying lil thing. Yes, that voice has its good points too. It stops my house looking like a whirlwind has been through it, it makes me finish projects, but it takes away some of the enjoyment of spending an afternoon catching up with a friend, or enjoying a morning lay in. Not saying that we shouldn’t have goals or try to achieve set things during our day, but I’m saying we should also be open to spontaneity and fun too. Life is full of curveballs and humans are nothing, if not adaptable.

This is why I want to focus on going inward this month. I will be using guided meditation apps to help get me started and find which style works best for me. Ill leave reviews of the ones I use and the books I have read so you can follow along if you wish. I’m also going to start keeping a journal to keep track of my progress.

Why bother?

Here is a list of the benefits of meditation and the different types, taken from the Mayo Clinic website. I’ll leave a link to the website below if you would like to look further.

Benefits of meditation

Meditation can give you a sense of calm, peace and balance that can help both your emotional well-being and your overall health.

And these benefits don’t end when your meditation session ends. Meditation can help carry you more calmly through your day and may help you manage symptoms of certain medical conditions.

Meditation and emotional well-being

When you meditate, you may clear away the information overload that builds up every day and contributes to your stress.

The emotional benefits of meditation can include:

Gaining a new perspective on stressful situations
Building skills to manage your stress
Increasing self-awareness
Focusing on the present
Reducing negative emotions
Increasing imagination and creativity
Increasing patience and tolerance

Meditation and illness

Meditation might also be useful if you have a medical condition, especially one that may be worsened by stress.

While a growing body of scientific research supports the health benefits of meditation, some researchers believe it’s not yet possible to draw conclusions about the possible benefits of meditation.

With that in mind, some research suggests that meditation may help people manage symptoms of conditions such as:

Anxiety
Asthma
Cancer
Chronic pain
Depression
Heart disease
High blood pressure
Irritable bowel syndrome
Sleep problems
Tension headaches

Be sure to talk to your health care provider about the pros and cons of using meditation if you have any of these conditions or other health problems. In some cases, meditation can worsen symptoms associated with certain mental and physical health conditions.

Meditation isn’t a replacement for traditional medical treatment. But it may be a useful addition to your other treatment.

Types of meditation

Meditation is an umbrella term for the many ways to a relaxed state of being. There are many types of meditation and relaxation techniques that have meditation components. All share the same goal of achieving inner peace.

Ways to meditate can include:

Guided meditation. Sometimes called guided imagery or visualization, with this method of meditation you form mental images of places or situations you find relaxing.

You try to use as many senses as possible, such as smells, sights, sounds and textures. You may be led through this process by a guide or teacher.

Mantra meditation. In this type of meditation, you silently repeat a calming word, thought or phrase to prevent distracting thoughts.
Mindfulness meditation. This type of meditation is based on being mindful or having an increased awareness and acceptance of living in the present moment.

In mindfulness meditation, you broaden your conscious awareness. You focus on what you experience during meditation, such as the flow of your breath. You can observe your thoughts and emotions but let them pass without judgment.

Qi gong. This practice generally combines meditation, relaxation, physical movement and breathing exercises to restore and maintain balance. Qi gong (CHEE-gung) is part of traditional Chinese medicine.
Tai chi. This is a form of gentle Chinese martial arts. In tai chi (TIE-CHEE), you perform a self-paced series of postures or movements in a slow, graceful manner while practicing deep breathing.
Transcendental Meditation®. Transcendental Meditation is a simple, natural technique. In Transcendental Meditation, you silently repeat a personally assigned mantra, such as a word, sound, or phrase, in a specific way.

This form of meditation may allow your body to settle into a state of profound rest and relaxation and your mind to achieve a state of inner peace, without needing to use concentration or effort.

Yoga. You perform a series of postures and controlled breathing exercises to promote a more flexible body and a calm mind. As you move through poses that require balance and concentration, you’re encouraged to focus less on your busy day and more on the moment.

I have previously tried a couple of the different types before, mainly yoga and tai chi, but I wasn’t a dedicated student. I dabbled, instead of deep diving, like the plan is now.

Well, dear readers, I am off to try my first guided meditation for the month. Leave me a comment down below if you have any pointers or recommendations for me.

Until next time,

Kay

Mayo Clinic Article:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858

Meal Planning Week One Recap

Hi Everybody,

The first week of meal planning went well. I dipped my toes into the waters by selecting the main meal for the day and went shopping for the ingredients twice during the week, so things would be fresh. Nothing worse than opening a bag of vegetables and getting a glance of a new lifeform emerging from what used to be a zucchini. I can not handle another sentient being living with us. I am not ready for that kind of responsibility in my life.

A Rocky Start.

Things were difficult for half of the first week, as my husband and sister were on nightshift, and I was on dayshift, but we managed to make it work. I choose easy, quick meals to start with to help with the time constraints, because who has the energy to whip up a gourmet meal after 12 hours of work? Maybe chefs but in my experience, after cooking for other people all day the last thing you want to do is spend more time cooking for yourself. I remember a lot of two-minute noodles and toast from my days working in kitchens.

My first week’s menu looked something like this:

Monday: Roast Lamb with Cauliflower/Broccoli bake and rosemary potatoes.

Tuesday: Spaghetti

Wednesday: Veggie Bake

Thursday: Wraps

Friday: Stir-fry

Saturday: Steak Sandwiches

Sunday: Satay Curry.

Great Intentions

Monday went off without a hitch. I was off work, so I had plenty of time for making up a roast extravaganza. As previously stated, I am a vegetarian, but the rest of the family are omnivores, so I just ate the cauli/broccoli bake and had some potatoes. My husband took the leftovers to work with him for the next day, which turned in nightshift.

I was at work Tuesday, so Matt made beef spaghetti for my sister and himself and I ended up making the world famous Tik-Tok pasta: cherry tomatoes and feta cheese. It must be said that I love this pasta recipe, quick, easy and with some spices thrown in, delicious. There was enough leftover that it was tea for Wednesday night, so veggie bake got cancelled. It is the culture these days.

After dayshift Thursday I just wanted something light, so I just made a lettuce and coleslaw wrap with sweet potato zucchini bites that you get from the deli section in Woolworths. I love these things. They are perfect for salads and wraps, which I take to work with me. Plus, they have a couple different flavours so you can mix it up a bit. Part of the planning side of this, is keeping diverse selection of ingredients in the house so it is easy to whip something up instead of reaching for the frozen pizzas hidden in the freezer.

My sister decided to make us chilli con beans for tea Friday night, which was very tasty. I love a good chilli, with the cheese, sour cream and guac. Utter perfection. Not the healthiest with all the fixings but worth it for the taste. And considering our widely different interpretations of what is spicy or not, she did very well. It was my lunch for the next two days at work and all I can say is I am glad I do not share an office anymore.

Matt made us all steak sandwiches for tea Saturday night, mine sans steak but it had a nice gooey fried egg on it. Is there anything better than people cooking for you?

Sunday night’s dinner got changed because I decided that my weeks now end on Saturday instead of Sunday. I have a new diary, and this is how I set it up and besides, who needs all that existential dread that Mondays bring with them. though I cleverly get around this by not having a Monday-Friday job and by having an existential crisis all the time. It is called Self-care.

Leveling Up

The next step in this meal planning business is the prepping of ingredients the day or two before making the meal. This comes in handy for recipes that require a lot of chopping, dicing, slicing and other fancy words which mean breaking whole ingredients into smaller, more manageable components. What sounds easier to you? Tossing a couple of florets of cauliflower out of a container or having to break down the head to get the few you need every day? Hopefully, this will help on days where I want to make vegetable lasagne or pasta bakes. And have the side effect of keeping my fridge from looking like produce bag heaven, where you pull everything out to see what you have and what is still useable.

Honestly: fridge goals. No zombie zucchinis here.

So, for Sunday I made honey soy tofu stir-fry with fried rice. Once I had all the ingredients chopped and ready to go, it only took about 10 mins. Using microwave brown rice helped speed things along. Unfortunately, my husband and sister are not fans of tofu, which is strange to me because it is the same texture and consistency as scrambled egg, but hey, not everyone has good taste. The important thing is they ate it without complaining. Too loudly anyway. I quite like stir-fries. They are so easy and adaptable for every season, and you can use any ingredients, no recipe needed.

Monday was burrito night. Pork mince for the omnivores and textured soy protein for me, brown rice, avocado, tomato, capsicum, cucumber, onion, cheese, and taco sauce all combined and wrapped up in a blanket. Zambrero should watch out. From start to finish about 20 mins work, not bad.

Tonight’s culinary delight is apricot chicken with couscous. I meant to get in the slow cooker this morning but alas the day has gotten away from me. It is mid-afternoon and I am yet to get to the shops for the all-important apricot nectar and dried apricot. I have no idea what I am having. Probably couscous with more zucchini bites. Yes, that sounds good. It is a plan.

This week is going to be a short one, as I am going away for a couple days to see some family. Until next time, farewell.

Month 1 Week 1: Meal Planning

Failing to plan, planning to fail.

Welcome

For my first month I have decided to tackle my eating habits. To say I could eat healthier is an understatement. During my low periods lately, my diet has consisted of blocks of milk chocolate and multiple cans of Pepsi max a day. Tasty, yes. Good for me, not especially. Water? What is this strange word you throw in my direction? The only time I drink water is in my herbal teas at work and occasionally a coconut water if I’m feeling adventurous. But now I’m taking control, but this is not another diet.

Backstory

To put things in context for you: for most of my life I have been overweight to morbidly obese. I had tried every diet, fad, exercise program I came across. I have shimmied my way through Zumba, pumped weights to Eye of the Tiger, ran like Mr Darcy was waiting for me at the finishing line and did my best to Zen my way through yoga. I have choked down weight loss smoothies, made my family suffer the consequences of the Cabbage soup diet in my teens (becoming a wind instrument is not what was advertised!) vilified carbs…no now its sugar…. dairy…the list is endless. I had developed unhealthy attitudes for food. I tried starving myself, became bulimic, starting a binge and purge cycle which got out of control. And that’s what it was all about control.

I was bullied by strangers, friends and family about my weight. I became so self-conscious in my teens, that anyone looking at me meant they were thinking about how disgusting I was. I still fight these thoughts today. I realise that rationally no one has the time and energy to spend thinking that much on another person’s physical attributes. When was the last time you spent more than five seconds thinking on a stranger’s body or even a friend? it is something I must unlearn, but this will be a subject for another month.

I finally decided to get weight-loss surgery 3 years ago after reaching 170+ kilos. I had put it off for years because I stupidly thought that it wouldn’t count, it was cheating, I just had to learn control. I was an idiot. I had seen family and friends go through with surgeries and manage amazing results, but instead of just being happy for their success and hard work, the whispers in the back of my head said I don’t need that, I can do it without help. It was a lie. Regardless of how much I worked out and watched what I ate, I was constantly starving. Like haven’t eaten in days, feeling shaky, would kill for a chocolate bar hungry.

I went in for a gastric sleeve and ended up losing roughly 74 kilos. An entire person! But in the three years since surgery, I have gained a little back. I started eating more. I wasn’t hungry, I don’t feel hungry most of the time. I hadn’t changed my relationship with food. I eat when I’m bored, stressed, and well, really any emotion. I’m working on this side of myself in conjunction with everything else.

Seeing the light and hoping it’s not a train.

I don’t believe in diets anymore. Studies have shown that dieting doesn’t work in the long run and that it has negative psychological effects. If you can do it and it works for you, more power to you. But it doesn’t work for me. I dislike the whole idea that foods should be categorised into ‘good’ and ‘bad’, I’ve stopped saying things like I’m being ‘naughty’ for having a scone or a lolly. Food shouldn’t be vilified or earned. Putting restrictions on foods just makes us feel like we are missing out. Like going low-carb and spending hours daydreaming of warm toast smothered in butter. Unless there is an allergy in play or ethical reasons, what’s the point? Saying that, I am a vegetarian, though my husband and sister are not so I cook meat for them with vegetarian sides for me.

What i am actually going to be doing:

Coming back to the main point, my new habit: healthy meal planning. I chose this area as I want to cook more at home, and to have quick, easy, healthy meals at home instead of having take away would be better, both health wise and financially. I am hoping it will cut down on the shopping bill as well, because now we are going to the shop every day and don’t walk out without spending $100+ because of the clever marketing people at the local Woolworths. I want to limit the trips to the shops to 2-3 times a week. Given that we live in a remote town in the middle of a desert, our shops can be very limited on variety, but they try to service the community the best they can.

Everyone who lives at my house works different shifts, so it can be a challenge figuring out what to make. But my husband and my sister have given me control of the meals so I can go a little mad with power. Side bar: I don’t like frozen meals. I have tried meal prepping before and froze them for eating at work and for the times where you don’t feel like cooking after 12-hour shift. To me, it doesn’t taste right. I’m a snob I know, but I’m yet to find a frozen meal that taste better than a freshly prepared one.

So, parameters of experiment:

One meal a day is communal, normally dinner. Leftovers are fair game. Every other meal is up to the individual. If its not on the shopping list, it does not get brought. No food is off-limits but no takeaway for a month. If we get invited out by friends for a meal, of course we can make merry. Depending now the mood of the day we can swap meals around, because you can never tell what you will be craving day to day. Keeping a well-stocked kitchen with the staples for making the standards is always a great start.

That’s all I have for now. Join me in a couple days for an update.

Farewell for now,

Kaysia

A new challenge

365 Days, 12 Months, 4 Subjects and 12 topics.

Hi Everyone,

I would just like to introduce myself. My name is Kaysia, and this is my blog A Life Of Hits, Misses and Fails. My reason for starting writing this blog is to keep myself focused on my goals for this year. I always have these grand plans of changing my life, like this year is going to be the year that I finally get my shit together and show the kind of dedication that would make Beyonce write her next girl power song about me. Alas, my schemes and plots fall short time and time again, left to wither inside my head, like the plants I buy and then forget to water (sorry peace lily, you were too pure for this world, better luck in your next life). Hence the name of my blog.

But this year will be different! I have plans! Enthusiasm! Determination! and I’ve told my husband to kick my ample bottom if he sees me slacking, with no bite back from me. So, without further ado, here is my plan.

The Plan

For the next year I will pick parts of my life to focus on. My themes are Health, Wellbeing, Relationships and Fun/Recreation. As we all know it takes between 21-28 days to develop new habits, so it is my plan to choose one area a month to focus on and one new habit I would like to form to better my life within that month. For example, my first month I will be focusing on Health, and the new habit I would like to cultivate is healthy meal planning. The next four weeks will be exploring how to integrate this into my life and what works best for me and my family.

Disclaimer

There is nothing wrong with my life. I have an amazing husband, we have just brought our first house, we have stable jobs which C19 has not affected, we are healthy and content. We have a great life, but it could be better. I have mental health issues, which I keep on top of with help from my doctors and other professionals. I might talk about this but anything I may say is not to be applied to anyone else. If you are struggling, please reach out to your doctors or services in your area.

If you have any ideas for things to try or would like to talk about your own journeys, I would love to hear from you.

Farewell for now,

Kay.