Failing to plan, planning to fail.
Welcome
For my first month I have decided to tackle my eating habits. To say I could eat healthier is an understatement. During my low periods lately, my diet has consisted of blocks of milk chocolate and multiple cans of Pepsi max a day. Tasty, yes. Good for me, not especially. Water? What is this strange word you throw in my direction? The only time I drink water is in my herbal teas at work and occasionally a coconut water if I’m feeling adventurous. But now I’m taking control, but this is not another diet.
Backstory
To put things in context for you: for most of my life I have been overweight to morbidly obese. I had tried every diet, fad, exercise program I came across. I have shimmied my way through Zumba, pumped weights to Eye of the Tiger, ran like Mr Darcy was waiting for me at the finishing line and did my best to Zen my way through yoga. I have choked down weight loss smoothies, made my family suffer the consequences of the Cabbage soup diet in my teens (becoming a wind instrument is not what was advertised!) vilified carbs…no now its sugar…. dairy…the list is endless. I had developed unhealthy attitudes for food. I tried starving myself, became bulimic, starting a binge and purge cycle which got out of control. And that’s what it was all about control.
I was bullied by strangers, friends and family about my weight. I became so self-conscious in my teens, that anyone looking at me meant they were thinking about how disgusting I was. I still fight these thoughts today. I realise that rationally no one has the time and energy to spend thinking that much on another person’s physical attributes. When was the last time you spent more than five seconds thinking on a stranger’s body or even a friend? it is something I must unlearn, but this will be a subject for another month.
I finally decided to get weight-loss surgery 3 years ago after reaching 170+ kilos. I had put it off for years because I stupidly thought that it wouldn’t count, it was cheating, I just had to learn control. I was an idiot. I had seen family and friends go through with surgeries and manage amazing results, but instead of just being happy for their success and hard work, the whispers in the back of my head said I don’t need that, I can do it without help. It was a lie. Regardless of how much I worked out and watched what I ate, I was constantly starving. Like haven’t eaten in days, feeling shaky, would kill for a chocolate bar hungry.
I went in for a gastric sleeve and ended up losing roughly 74 kilos. An entire person! But in the three years since surgery, I have gained a little back. I started eating more. I wasn’t hungry, I don’t feel hungry most of the time. I hadn’t changed my relationship with food. I eat when I’m bored, stressed, and well, really any emotion. I’m working on this side of myself in conjunction with everything else.
Seeing the light and hoping it’s not a train.
I don’t believe in diets anymore. Studies have shown that dieting doesn’t work in the long run and that it has negative psychological effects. If you can do it and it works for you, more power to you. But it doesn’t work for me. I dislike the whole idea that foods should be categorised into ‘good’ and ‘bad’, I’ve stopped saying things like I’m being ‘naughty’ for having a scone or a lolly. Food shouldn’t be vilified or earned. Putting restrictions on foods just makes us feel like we are missing out. Like going low-carb and spending hours daydreaming of warm toast smothered in butter. Unless there is an allergy in play or ethical reasons, what’s the point? Saying that, I am a vegetarian, though my husband and sister are not so I cook meat for them with vegetarian sides for me.
What i am actually going to be doing:
Coming back to the main point, my new habit: healthy meal planning. I chose this area as I want to cook more at home, and to have quick, easy, healthy meals at home instead of having take away would be better, both health wise and financially. I am hoping it will cut down on the shopping bill as well, because now we are going to the shop every day and don’t walk out without spending $100+ because of the clever marketing people at the local Woolworths. I want to limit the trips to the shops to 2-3 times a week. Given that we live in a remote town in the middle of a desert, our shops can be very limited on variety, but they try to service the community the best they can.
Everyone who lives at my house works different shifts, so it can be a challenge figuring out what to make. But my husband and my sister have given me control of the meals so I can go a little mad with power. Side bar: I don’t like frozen meals. I have tried meal prepping before and froze them for eating at work and for the times where you don’t feel like cooking after 12-hour shift. To me, it doesn’t taste right. I’m a snob I know, but I’m yet to find a frozen meal that taste better than a freshly prepared one.
So, parameters of experiment:
One meal a day is communal, normally dinner. Leftovers are fair game. Every other meal is up to the individual. If its not on the shopping list, it does not get brought. No food is off-limits but no takeaway for a month. If we get invited out by friends for a meal, of course we can make merry. Depending now the mood of the day we can swap meals around, because you can never tell what you will be craving day to day. Keeping a well-stocked kitchen with the staples for making the standards is always a great start.
That’s all I have for now. Join me in a couple days for an update.
Farewell for now,
Kaysia